


clean white love

by harlequindream



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:23:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5002894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequindream/pseuds/harlequindream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a long time coming, everyone knew that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	clean white love

**Author's Note:**

> This is a future-ish fic, and it doesn't follow normal tatennant patterns. It stems from the idea that they actually haven't been together, at all.

It was the 7th of August when she found out, about him. And her . 

 

He called her at 9:18 at night and the first thing she heard after her own, "David?"

 

Was, "It's over. We're not working anymore. We're.. Over."

 

She often thinks back to this moment, almost slaps her own wrist for feeling the colossal amount of relief she did. Feels guilty, for a moment, and then she remembers it wasn't her fault anyway. She had nothing to do with it. 

 

\\\

 

He had come over the next day with a suitcase. She promptly scolded him for even  thinking about staying in a hotel. It was absurd to spend that money; was her first excuse. Then it was the reporters would catch wind of it a lot sooner than he would want, which got him in the end. Her true reason was mostly that she couldn't let her best friend be entirely alone so soon after he split up with his wife.

 

It took her days to wrap her head around it. Every time she heard him come through her front door (using her spare key), every time she heard the shower running but Erin was at her father's house, every time she woke up and smelt the oatmeal coming from her kitchen. No one  ever cooked in there. Apart from heating up a jar of pasta sauce, and she was  certain you can't call that cooking.

 

Point was, as nice as it was to have David around, she couldn't entirely accept the reason for it. 

 

\\\

 

Catherine never brought up the topic unless David did. Sometimes he'd start a sentence with, "Georgia would always..." and he'd trail off, not finishing his thought, not talking it through. She'd always grab his hand though. Smile at him gently. Sometimes a tear would sneak down his cheek, and she was quick to wipe it away for him. 

 

\\\

 

After two weeks he told her that they (not Catherine,  her ) were ready to release the news to the public. Then he said he'd start looking for a place of his own.

 

"I've already overstayed my welcome," he protested.

 

"No, you haven't. You can stay."

 

"It's alright, Catherine. I need to be on my own at some point anyway."

 

"Fine," she conceded. "But you are always welcome. You're my best friend."

 

He smiled briefly, kissed her cheek, then walked down the hallway to the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on and she almost felt nostalgic right there, because she was thinking about how she wouldn't hear that anymore and know it was  him. 

 

\\\ 

 

"Did David leave so I could come back home?" Erin asked her a couple weeks later.

 

"No, of course not. He wouldn't mind if you were here, not if you didn't mind. You didn't, did you?"

 

"No, he's alright. He's like, your best friend," she said nonchalantly. As much as a fourteen year old could, anyway.

 

"Yeah, he is. But he left because he needed to. He couldn't stay here forever. He needs to see his kids too."

 

"Were we getting in the way?" She hoped not. She'd hate herself if she ever got in the way. She wouldn't do that again.

 

"No, but this isn't his home. He needs a home. This isn't it."

 

Her daughter fell silent after that and went back to her room, leaving the door open. Which was rare but Catherine wished she would have shut it then, because then she wouldn't have to hold back her cries as hard. 

 

\\\

 

Months after everyone (almost the entire nation) had calmed down and almost forgotten about the breakdown of his marriage, he asked her to dinner.

 

"It'll be nice to finally get back out and not have everyone following me. You know, they didn't even follow me to the shops today."

 

"I'm impressed!" She laughed then, because she had heard nothing but how he would try to wear a combination of a hooded jacket, and huge coat,  and  a cap just to go shopping but he'd get caught. Hopefully he was wearing the same thing, just  not getting caught. That thought really did make her laugh.

 

"But really. Come to dinner. I'll pick you up and we can go somewhere quiet."

 

"Fine." It's not like she had an excuse  not  to. Nor did she want to find one. She had missed him. More over the last few years than over the last few months. 

 

\\\

 

She never imagined she would eventually start falling for him. The thought had never crossed her mind. Not until...

 

\\\

 

It was a week until Christmas, and he showed up on her doorstep mid-morning. He was  fuming.

 

"She's taking the kids with her to her parents house!  Our kids! I'm not even getting to see them on Christmas day!"

 

"David-

 

"No, Catherine. This is  fucking bullshit! " He looked directly into her eyes, and she must have been just a little frightened at his outburst because his whole demeanor changed in less than a second.

 

"I'm so sorry," he said as he stepped closer to her. "I didn't mean to yell that much."

 

"It's okay," she said softly. "You're upset."

 

"Doesn't mean I can yell in your house."

 

She often thought about how considerate he was. She loved that about him. It's one of the things she first noticed when she met him. He was always caring about the people around him. He was rarely ever selfish. And even if he was, he wasn't really.

 

After he left that morning she couldn't stop thinking about how anyone could end a marriage with the most considerate person on the planet. He was so kind, she just couldn't comprehend how anyone would give that up.

 

She never would, given the chance. 

 

\\\

 

Eventually Catherine's mum had invited David to their place for Christmas lunch. He didn't want to impose but her mum insisted.

 

"Such a nice man like David shouldn't be alone on this day."

 

And he'd never admit to anyone but Catherine that he was so grateful he didn't have to be alone. 

 

\\\

 

Lunch went more smoothly than it had for years. Conversation was simple, and David ate Catherine's parsnips for her.

 

Erin was thrilled with her gifts, even the two books David had gotten for her were accepted with more gratitude than she'd ever shown before.

 

"I heard they were good, and the woman at the shop said her teenage daughter would read nothing else."

 

They were copies of Eleanor & Park ("are those names?") and the new John Green novel that he had already forgotten the name of.

 

"We won't see her the rest of the day now. She'll be somewhere reading those," Catherine told him as they started cleaning up everyone's empty plates.

 

He washed, she dried, it was a nice system they had going.

 

At dusk Catherine took David out to the porch to let her mum nap peacefully in front of the telly, and to let Erin read in silence. He'd had one glass of wine at lunch, and hadn't touched a drop since. She wondered if it was because of her.

 

"Thank you," he told her, looking up at the sky. She turned to him and eyed him quizzically.

 

"What for?"

 

"Making me not be alone."

 

She would have accepted his thanks out loud, but something told her he already knew. Maybe it was the look in his eyes as he glanced at her and gently smiled. Maybe it was the way he reached for her hand, and she took it. 

 

\\\

 

They didn't leave until late. Not until Erin was falling asleep on the floor in front of the television.

 

David dropped them off at their home, walked them to the door. Erin thanked him once again for the books then ducked inside, leaving the two adults at the front door.

 

"Will you get to see the kids tomorrow?" Catherine asked tentatively, careful not to step on his toes about it.

 

He smiled, brightly. "Yeah, I do. I've got their presents ready underneath the tree."

 

"Great! I'm happy for you." He didn't say anything. She continued, "I'm just happy that you're happy."

 

"I'm happy. So happy." He couldn't stop grinning, and that made Catherine grin. He grabbed her hand.

 

And ran his thumb along her palm.

 

He was too close, and she wasn't sure he knew what he was doing. Maybe in the delirium of his happiness he was losing his mind. She pulled her hand back.

 

"You should go. Get a good night's sleep. Be happy again tomorrow."

 

He left, and she waved goodbye. But she fell asleep grinning, she fell asleep happy. And that was because of her best friend. 

 

\\\

 

New Year's came and went. He called her at midnight, stating how awful it was the line wasn't engaged.

 

"It's not awful. You called me."

 

"That I did."

 

Her first thought was, 'I'm happy someone called.'

 

Her second thought was, 'I wish you could kiss someone over the phone.'

 

So she talked to him for the next hour, hoping he would say just that to her. Her exact thought. How fitting that would be.

 

When she went to sleep that night she felt happy, again. But this time she admitted something to herself. She was finally ready.

 

She loved her best friend. And not in a best friend way. She really, truly, desperately, happily loved him. And she was okay with it. It didn't make her feel guilty, or sad, or angry with herself. It made her feel helplessly in love. 

 

\\\

 

Of course, she didn't do anything about it. She just stayed in love for another month without letting on that she  was in love with David. She wasn't sure he was ready for that. It's one thing to accept your marriage is over, it's a whole new one to accept your best friend casually saying over breakfast, "Oh yeah, I fell in love with you, but that's not going to change your mind to choose the pancakes instead of the eggs, is it?" No, she wasn't going to tell him. 

 

\\\

 

Another month passed and he was coming to her house every other day. Either before work, after work, or just because. She welcomed him with open arms. He was becoming someone she couldn't bare to be away from. She was fixating on him, and that should have scared her. But it didn't. Not once.

 

It was the 14th of March when it finally happened.

 

He stopped by after a day of filming, and it wasn't too late. Just in time to eat the ice cream she had in her freezer for dessert, and he hadn't eaten dinner yet.

 

"Stop eating my ice cream!" she told him, reaching for the spoon he took from the top drawer on the right, without asking.

 

"No! You buy the good kind," he spoke, making his way outside.

 

"Which is exactly why I don't want you eating it all."

 

She followed him out, but she took a spoon with her first. They sat down on the garden chairs she had underneath a tree. The light from the porch could just reach them.

 

David tore off the lid on the tub and stuck his spoon in, taking from the middle. She took a bit from the side.

 

"Mmm, so good," he said, grinning. Catherine shook her head.

 

"You're a child." She looked back down to the ice cream and when she brought the spoon back up to her mouth she glanced at David. He was already looking at her. He wasn't grinning anymore. He was looking... Dreamy. Like he was watching a sunset. A cloudy sunset, and the last of the light was shining through the clouds like a miracle was happening in the spot the ray of light was hitting.

 

He was looking at her like she  was the miracle.

 

Without breaking his gaze, he took her spoon and stuck it into the ice cream, putting the tub on the ground. David reached a hand up to her cheek, hesitantly touched the soft skin there. Softly stroking over her cheekbone. He slowly, ever so slowly,  too slowly , pulled her closer as he leaned in more. Their lips met and she felt like a miracle.

 

She realized; this was their first, proper kiss. Their first, real David and Catherine kiss. It wasn't as characters in something, it wasn't as best friends. It was as them. And she never wanted it to end. 

 

\\\

 

It all happened slowly. They never rushed anything. If they rushed, it didn't feel like it was happening at all. He always checked in with her feelings, if she thought it was too much, too fast. It should have been her asking  him , considering he was the one fresh out of a relationship.

 

"I'm happy, you know? You make me happy. Of course I'm sure about this," he told her one afternoon. They were just having coffee, that was it. But it felt more romantic and more meaningful than any cup of coffee she'd ever had.

 

"I'm sure too. You make me sure," she replied. He reached out and tucked some stray hair behind her ear. Yeah, she was sure. This was what she wanted.

 

He was what she wanted. 

 

\\\

 

She attempted to cook for his birthday. It wasn't going well, but she hadn't managed to burn anything either. Jamie Oliver's latest cookbook was all about easy meals but she felt like she was in an advanced class.

 

She had just put a big casserole dish in her practically unused oven when he knocked on her front door. She wiped her hands on her jeans and pulled a piece of hair away from her face with her pinky just before she opened the door for him.

 

"Happy birthday!" she exclaimed, hugging him immediately. He held her tight, for just a little too long, which was just the right amount of time.

 

"Thanks, Cath," he mumbled into her ear. She could feel him smiling into her hair beside her neck. It was too much, it was perfect.

 

They ate an hour later. Her vegetarian Shepherd's Pie tasting better than she ever could have hoped.

 

"Help from him," she said as she pointed to the open cookbook on the kitchen bench beside the stove top. Then David laughed and picked up her plate to go clean it. "No, don't you dare clean. It's your birthday for God's sake."

 

"You cooked for me! That was already enough work for you!" he threw back to her with a cheeky smile.

 

"Not the point, David." She walked up next to him and tried to pry the plates and cutlery from his hands. His very warm, very comforting hands. He quickly put their dishes down and grabbed her hands in his. Her very warm, very soft hands.

 

"I like doing things for you, so please let me," he declared. There was no arguing with him, so she kissed him instead. Because she  could.  It was simple, and perfect. And more words she couldn't think of because kissing David just  was  something.

 

She pulled away eventually and whispered, "You wash. I'll dry."

 

An hour later she pulled on his hand and made their way to her bedroom. They dropped their clothing at the foot of her bed, while she kissed him everywhere. And while he held her like she would break in his hands. They had so much respect and consideration in them, her head was so clouded with love, she didn't know what to say at all. Not until...

 

"I love you," he whispered into her mouth just before he kissed her. Kissed the freckles on her lips, followed the freckles down her neck. A lovely path to follow and get lost in.

 

"I love you, too," she whispered back just before he pushed into her. He groaned, she sighed. It felt... Perfect. Like a miracle.

 

It was hours after his birthday when they stopped celebrating. 

 

\\\

 

Ten days before her own birthday she read the headline of a paper in the store that  she had filed for divorce. Catherine knew it was going to happen. David had told her. But this whole fame thing; she'd never get over how such personal moments could be front page news. That wasn't for her. She felt horrible, suddenly. Like this wasn't her life. That the man in the picture was someone else, not the man that had woken her up that morning planting kisses all over her body. She couldn't imagine, in any world, that her David was the same man there, printed on a piece of paper. And that could have been the reason her thoughts were running from her; because her David was not the same man. He was her's. 

 

\\\

 

He'd taken both Catherine and Erin out for dinner on her birthday. It was the best gift she could have asked her. The best point being she didn't have to ask for it. He just knew what she wanted most.

 

As they (all three of them) got back to her house, David went to have a shower as Catherine sat with her daughter on the couch.

 

"I think he really loves you. Like,  really  loves you."

 

"I know. I think he does too."

 

The two girls smiled and giggled and enjoyed their moment. Happy parent, happy child. His mere presence made everyone happy, and Catherine couldn't ever possibly think how she would ever return the favour of making her family happy. 

 

\\\

 

He whisked her away for a long weekend in the summer. Just the two of them.  To Italy.  She'd never been, but David had found a travel book on her bookshelf with post its in the Italy section. He'd been planning it for weeks.

 

She packed nothing but singlets, shorts, and dresses, and a big floppy hat.

 

They drove along the coast for half a day until they arrived at a hotel that only had little villas as rooms, scattered around the property. It was so private, and everything was so green. The fresh air when straight to Catherine's head and she felt more in love than ever. When David dragged her into their temporary bedroom and stripped off her dress she knew; he was more in love than ever, too. 

 

\\\

 

They woke up late, Catherine finding herself curled around him like a vine. He was so warm, and she could hear his heartbeat. Steady and bright beneath her ear, beneath her hand.

 

"What are you doing to me?" he mused, understanding she had just woken up. She turned her head just enough to see his face.

 

"What?"

 

He wriggled down in the bed, flipped onto his side so he was facing her. He grabbed the hand that had been resting on his chest and held it so softly, with such reverence. He placed a kiss on the inside of her wrist.

 

"I've never..." his words seemed to have failed him.

 

"Tell me," she encouraged.

 

"I don't think I've ever been so happy, so content, so delighted," he paused. Took a moment to find her gaze. "I don't think I've ever been so in love," he admitted.

 

With a satisfied sigh she replied, "Me too."

 

\\\

 

They drove into town once to pick up some food so they didn't have to leave their private villa for the next two days. She wore a white dress and her big floppy hat.

 

The ocean seemed to sparkle as they ate a late lunch at a small cafe. By lunch she meant coffee and cake. But it was perfect. Something sweet to match how she felt around him all the time.

 

He wouldn't let go of her hand all day, but she didn't want to let go of his hand either.

 

\\\

 

When they got back home it was herself she saw on the front page of the papers. She was in her big floppy hat, white dress, and David's hand in hers.

 

He had to go to work so she couldn't call him. She called her mum instead.

 

"Oh Catherine, glad you rang. I've got something to ask you." It sounded like she had  no idea what was happening. Which was so unlike her mother. Josephine was all about the news.

 

"Mum, have you-

 

"Do you think David would come over for dinner this Saturday? I would love to see him again."

 

"I- I don't know, mum," her voice had started to crack. "Have you seen the papers this morning?"

 

"No, love. Why?"

 

"It's me. On the front."

 

"Oh, lovely! I'll have to run out and-

 

"No, mum. It has me  and  David." Her mother fell silent. And Catherine started to cry.

 

She was strong, she rarely let her emotions get the very best of her, but this was her life. And these stupid vultures were encroaching on her  very private life. They were taking territory in a 'trespassers will be shot' area.

 

She left David a teary message on his voicemail when she got home. And two hours later (three hours too early) he arrived at her house.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted this to happen," he ranted. "They can pester me all they want, I don't care, but not you. Catherine, not you."

 

Of course she believed him. He'd never put her, his best friend, in harm's way. He'd risk his life for her, she guessed.

 

He held her close for hours after they went to bed. She'd stopped whimpering after a while but she didn't want this to have to happen to her. 

 

\\\

 

A week later and everyone had stopped calling her the reason his marriage ended. Georgia  herself  had come out saying that wasn't the reason, to which everyone decided to keep their mouths shut on the matter.

 

Catherine sent her a thank you note with a small bunch of flowers.

 

Georgia sent one back saying, 'I know it wasn't anything to do with you. You're a friend, I don't like seeing my friends hurt.'

 

\\\

 

Catherine decided to stay at his place for a weekend. A weekend when he had the kids.

 

They'd just been put to bed, David and Catherine decided to stay up and watch the episode of Graham Norton he'd just done the other day.

 

"He says some things, to which I say things in return," David told her with her head resting on his lap, and his fingers stroking her hair back from her neck.

 

"That doesn't sound crazy at all," she laughs. "But I get what you mean. It's okay," she says as she reaches a hand over his lap to hold his free hand, interlacing their fingers. 

 

\\\

 

"Now, David. Since we've already talked this new movie you've done, which is brilliant. I stand by that. We've got to talk about, you know," Graham raises his eyebrows. The audience 'ooh' and 'ahh' and whistle and cheer. David just grins, looking like he's thinking about her, and nothing else.

 

"Well, Graham, what do you want to know? About.. That."

 

"I don't exactly want to know anything, I just want to say," he clears his throat. "About fucking time!"

 

Everyone laughs, including David. He nods his head, too.

 

"Yeah," David starts. "It's been a long time coming, I think."

 

Catherine pulls herself closer to David, smiles sweetly, because that's what she feels.

 

"I think we must have all known this would happen at some point. I mean, I saw that play you did years ago. 'Just friends' don't kiss like that."

 

"Well, they can!" David defends. "We just so happened to grow into something more."

 

"All I'm saying is, I'm happy for you," and Graham looks down the lens. "You too, Catherine! I know you'll watch this."

 

They move onto different topics and Catherine sits up, ignoring the rest of the show.

 

"Long time coming..." she murmurs. David simply nods his head, looks at her like she's his absolute everything. She'll never get tired of seeing that look on his face. Seeing him look at her like that. 

 

\\\

 

She's never loved like this. She's never loved so hard, so much. Catherine has given herself entirely to David. And though she had reservations about loving like that when she was younger, it feels so natural now.

 

It was a long time coming, and now that they're finally there she finds herself never wanting to let go. 

 

She and him, they just are. They just love. And nothing has ever felt more like a miracle.


End file.
